This week. (27.02)

people have said that I am rude, it's not true. I just speak my mind. I really hate when people say I am quiet, or even worse shy... Sooo not none of these things!

I want to be forever... No I need to be forever.

lately I been thinking about things I regret... There are very many things I regret doing and not doing... Not saying yes to opportunities and so on. and ofc letting things turn in to shit, and then throwing that shit at you. I have come to understand that I am not really open to new things. every thing new is always forced on me. And letting you as I know go, was the hardest fucking thing I had to do. I wish I woudn´t have wasted my time in my own lalalaland. I really have not changed, I just have lost most of me. People keep telling me that I look 16, I guess I still am 16 and so not over you... Well that would be nice, but I am 19 and over. I don´t even know who I am, even less what I want. I think I lied when I said I don´t need air to live. I need wind and I prefer it with fresh air. I am sooo desperate to be a happy person, i need happy pills. Just kidding, I just need to stop myself from thinking this kind of shit. Nobody gives a shit about my silly thoughts and this strange post entry.

I wish time would stop. why can´t I be 19 foreva.

When you are feeling low...

Do you know the feeling, when you remember something you don´t want to remember? I try to keep me from remembering. I am happy, that´s what I say to myself every fucking day. When I am unhappy, I start thinking about you. I don´t know why, could be that it comforts me? I think so... So I like to be happy and definitely not thinking about you. And "YOU" is only a way to keep me living my life fucking amazing.

Partying bunny.

dining in my bed.

Nuppu is winking at me.

I have had very busy week. Monday I will have a "iso koe", it means I will have a big test. I really hate that trains are almost every day late, going to school sucks. Its so fucking cold in the mornings.